Our Dear Abby

Abigail here. I grew up in a middle class family in the area I still live in today. My family consisted of dad, mom and three girls…and I was in the middle. My dad was a hard worker, very organized and firm…never home, unaffectionate and an alcoholic. Although I loved him and still do, dearly, I feared him and liked when he wasn’t around. My mom on the other hand was compassionate, filled with love, and always there. Her girls were her life and still are.

As a child I was kept busy with chores. Of course, I have fond memories of the fun times but CHORES were of the up most importance. The vacations we took as a family I wish I could write were fun, but let’s just say it was an adventure. The fun I remember at home rarely included my dad. Which I truly wish was different. Much of my youth, I escaped to friends’ houses to avoid all the tension at home.

I have attended church faithfully my entire life. As a child, my family went because my dad didn’t want the call from his parents questioning why we weren’t there. However, God knew I needed that guidance in my life. He gave me a childhood friend whose parents showed me love and what a home that loves Christ looks like. I received Christ and was baptized at the age of 10. I didn’t have my own home to back me up. My mom loved Jesus but she was never strict and with my dad not backing her or vice versa, I wasn’t taught how to LIVE for the Lord I had just received.

I was a cheerleader from Pee-Wee until I graduated High School. I loved it and I enjoyed the freedom I was allowed having with it. Most of my learning experiences of being an adolescent came from watching my older sister. I learned what NOT to do from the consequences she suffered by the harsh punishment from my dad. Therefore, I never partied, nor did I drink or smoke. Also, from seeing how my sister allowed boys to treat her, they weren’t something I was too fond of either. However, at the early age of 15, I met Travis. Little did I know he would become my best friend and love of my life.

My parents’ marriage had been rocky for pretty much most of it, but I was blind to see it, until the age of 16 when my mom finally decided she was done, done with the drinking and mental and physical abuse….oh did I mention, she told me she left because I said to her “mom, why are you still with dad, since he treats you so badly?”…yea, the pressure! Anyway, it was long over due, so the summer before my senior year of High School was spent having my life flipped upside down. The only thing that stayed the same was Travis. He stood by me and helped me get through the very ugly divorce.

As a senior in high school, Travis asked me to marry him…and not because I was pregnant, because we were in LOVE. Travis and I decided that we were going to wait to have sex until we got married….I wish I could write that we stuck with the plan, but we didn’t. We did, however, get married the year after High School. I was still in college and working. That first year of marriage was SO hard. I kept wondering, who is this guy? Do I even love him? If his mom could have just let go of her control, things wouldn’t have been so bad. Eventually she did!

After graduating from college and working full time, it is now three years into our marriage. Our 1st daughter was born Rachel….a few years later, and another daughter is born, Macy. It doesn’t stop there. Another two years, you guessed it, another daughter, Raelin. Here is when I have to add in my miscarriage. My heart was broken. God is the healer and I trusted him. I did recover physically, not quite mentally yet, but oops, pregnant again and along came our 4th and final daughter Jane. I will repeat it for you, four girls.

During my first pregnancy for Rachel, I realized how important it was to me to raise my children for God. Not just to attend church, but I wanted them to LIVE for HIM. Travis, on the other hand, didn’t attend church as a child and only started going with me as a teen. This thought of mine was crazy to him. Yet he still went with me most of the time, just to please me. Travis’s sister attended the same church as I did…the one I grew up in. After some major family issues on my husband’s side, Travis and I decided we need to leave this church and find our own. I felt like I was going through my parents’ divorce all over, yet with the church family I loved and grew up in. Only to realize months later, God’s plan was bigger than my sorrow. Not only did he bless me with a wonderful new church family, Travis came to know Christ on his own and was baptized into the family of believers when I was pregnant with Raelin. Pure joy!

I am madly in love with Travis, and God has only blessed our marriage. Travis and I physically and successfully built our own home which we are now raising our four daughters in. Which by the way are 10, 7, 5, and 3 years old. I can say our house is filled with drama, tears, heartache and chatter from top to bottom…but is also filled with love, friendship, laughter, and fun times.

I am a stay at home mom who loves her job. I like a clean house but have to fight for it. I like to be in control but life won’t let you tame it. I am serious but love laughter. I am a 32-year-old wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and child of God. I am blessed with GRACE. I am Abigail.